Based on actual events.
September 11, 2021
There is definitely something to be said about doing mean things to someone and then pretending that you are the victim. There are reasons why you do what you do then deflect the pain onto someone else. These actions are called being a "narcissist." When a narcissist plays the victim, this is part of the complexity of narcissistic personality disorder. The tendency to have low introspection combined with an exaggerated sense of superiority may leave them unable to see the situation in a way that doesn't fit their worldview. As a result, they may “play the victim” in some scenarios.
When you do horrible things to others, then blame them for the outcome this reflects you and how you live your life. Taking ownership of one's actions and suffering the consequences of said actions is a part of life. In some cases, your consequences are that you need to live your life away from the person you most need, even if they are the best part of you, or someone you most want to be with in the world but cannot be due to your actions. What if your actions to this person were so despicable you can never recover?
Imagine, being a child, and never been shown any love or attention - then as this baby grows and develops into a toddler, an adolescence then into an adult you treat them the same way you have always done with hatred, always keeping them at arm's length, never giving them any love, any support or recognition and then one day they do something so despicable that going forward they never have the version of you that you knew all their life? This is what this short story is about...
Remembering that all actions have consequences, would you do something to someone, so heartless than never apologize for the role you played? Then pretend that you are the victim; than as if nothing ever happened reach out to them many years after like nothing ever happened, saying "they missed you and they love you." What is it I missed? Why are you missing them now? You would have to wonder, what it is they want, because you can be assured it's something... After receiving a message like this, one needs to ponder, do you respond, and if you respond, what would you say? After pondering whether or not to respond, a number of weeks go by, and this message still weighs heavily on my mind. After deciding to respond to the message, knowing in retrospect it’s probably not a good idea. Feelings were expressed of how going through your entire life feeling like the outsider, and words of how her actions throughout one's life left scars, and how the behaviours over the duration of the past few years left you feeling as though their actions and things said were handled all wrong. Instead of hearing and listening, the mode of deflection kicks in and instantly playing the victim, along with name calling. In an attempt deflect what she has always known to be true, she starts by saying nasty public things on a public forum, about "how I changed, and how I am I not the person she used to know." Why would one expect you to be the same person she knew many years ago, aren’t we supposed to grow, evolve as humans? I guess what she expected from me, was to continue taking her abuse and saying, "thank you for it." While I’m thanking you, I guess I should be thanking you for the lack of attention, and the torture also. Well, this was no longer the way, it was time to stand up for myself, and to tell her how I feel, how I am feeling and that the version of me that thought she knew - was the only version they'd ever know again. Sometimes regardless of who they are, you need to say, "enough is enough." They say, "I changed, I say a lot changed me."
I hear people say, "things are not the same when you lose a loved one from your life," and others say, "cherish the time you have with them because you never know when it'll be taken away." I have to say a number of years have passed since there was any type of relationship and even though I am unsure of what the future holds, I know that I am at peace with not having a relationship with someone who thinks hurting you in this way is normal and acceptable. Keep in mind, if your absence doesn't bother them, then your presence never mattered to them in the first place.