Paying attention
January 4, 2023

If you are anything like me, you want to believe the best in everyone, and go about your day-to-day life with a smile on your face and believe that most people you encounter are friendly, if you are lucky, you can call them a friend, and even have the best intentions for you. And you even give other's the benefit of the doubt because you’re trusting… However, I am here to tell you that when you notice a pattern of how people treat you, listen.  Listen to your gut when it tells you to pay attention. 

I know that we’ve all heard the lines, "we should get together for that drink", or "let's connect", or my favorite is when you are told "I am here for you, if you ever need me just give me a call."  Well, I am sure you are like me, and don't ever place that call because you are afraid of being let down.  From a very young age, I have learned to depend on me, and only me.  I have never had the support from my family to entrust that they would support me if I needed them, so I never needed them. But things hit different when it's your chosen family, those who you've come to count on for being in your life, you know, your friends.  So, notice the patterns, notice who’s always checking up on you, who’s there for you, and believe in actions, and not just words.

I heard this phrase the other day and it really resonated with me…

"I paid attention when I didn’t get the invite. I paid attention when I didn’t get the thank you. I paid attention when I didn’t get the apology. I paid attention when a room would go silent when I entered. I paid attention when folks believe lies about me and never ask me. I paid attention when they didn’t show up for me. I paid attention when my important life events didn’t even get a congratulatory phone call or text. I paid attention to the disrespect and yeah, I took it personal, so now I rarely leave my bubble, my space, and I choose my piece every fu*king time. If I make it to an event that I’m invited to, consider it a fu*king blessing - I raised the bar for who has the pleasure to be around my spirit, because I have a good one!  And I am done fighting with spirits who were created to take me off course."

I am taking 2023 by storm and paying attention.  You should too.